man, im not one to cry for anybody or about much... but i mean today my band teacher like totally pushed it.... he's made me cry twice this year! what crap is that?! well anyways....
i have two band periods, one being my concert class, and the other being my drum class.... and yesterday in third period he gave us music to sight read and i cant sight read mallet parts.. and he insists on pissing me off with giving me only mallets on everything.
so he gave me the part and i just sat down. he says "well i would love to hear a bell part, holly!" so i told him i cant and whatever.. and he said "well do it...just try". i completely guessed and it sounded so bad. and he gave me this look, like, "you better get it right".... and i just looked at him and shrugged.
now i know practice makes perfect but i have been attempting to do things on bells with sight reading so much, but i cant do it. im exactly where i was when i even first started with band altogether.
today in fifth period drum class, we pulled out some of the concert stuff that the percussion needs to have an ensemble for for the concert in like 2 weeks....
so he gives me a part, but it wasnt the part that i had before. he gave me a mallet part today, so i walk away not knowing he gave me the wrong thing, *which, "ironically," happened to be a mallet part* and when i turn around and walk back, i said "mr. ryon, i-" and he cuts me off with a hand in the face and said "Goodbye!" and like turns me around to go get the mallets.... and i once again was guessing at what to play b/c i hadn't read that part before. i mean i can sight read rythms really well, but when it comes to playing different notes, i suck.
so this guy came in to talk to mr. ryon, and they went into his office, so i sat on the floor b/c i was bored... and when he came back out, like 15 minutes later, he sid "so i guess since your on the floor you know this piece perfect, right?" he was being so sarcastic, and his sarcasm pisses me off even worse because he does it so much.
so then i get up and i just stood there while we went over it. and i mean by this point i have like a big knot in my throat b/c i just want to go deck him in the face. well we run through it and whatnot, and he calls a few people in to his office, me being one of them. and starts saying thins about "you guys i would recomend for this, yada yada yada.." *copmletely besides the calss period of today* and when he dismisses us, i like run out of the office b/c i just wanted to cry, and he calls me back and says "holly. stay." and i stop right where i was and turn around, and he thinks he can make a joke at him knowing the fact that im pissed.
he starts talkin and saying thigs to me like, "i know you can do it if you try.... you did an ok job today.... i told you so this, and i told you so that." and i mean i didnt even say anything to him. and when he was done talking, i kinda gave him this face like, "can i leave yet," and hes like "i'll see you tomorrow."
so i walk out of his office and i started crying and davarius hugged me. and then the bell rings like a minute later. and steve-o comes walking next to me, and asks whats wrong.. so i keep walking. and i walked to sixth period with my head down the whole time just balling....
i mean i know this might not sound like a big deal at all... but i mean to me i like mallets but im burnt out.... and mr ryon knows that. he thinks i'm not "showing my pontential". and what he doesnt understand is that he thinks he knows me better than i know me which he needs to get checked on b/c i know what i can and cant do.... hes been doing this all year.... he gives everyone else everything that i might want and he asks them what they want, but me, he just gives me the mallet parts and doesnt bother seeing if i rather do something else....
im sick of it. i've told him that i hate mallets, and he keeps giving them to me. and if he thinks he is going to keep me in band and do this crap, he's got another thing coming. this isnt the only thing he does. he does so much more crap that no one likes.. and everyone hates...it seems like im the one that gets it the worst, honestly. and im just tired of it. the only reason im even in band is for durmline, and thank god he doesnt run that too.. we actually have a drum captain *not mr ryon* that does that. if he did, i would be completely out of band.
i'm not looking for a pity party.... i'm just venting...
well whatever. im done and im really tired.
sorry for typing a flippin' novelette... lol... but im really pissed.....
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